I heard that there are flowers blooming in gardens throughout the region where I live, but I haven't seen any. It is still winter at my house. My oldest daughter dislocated her knee on January 2nd, and is now quite ill with pneumonia. These things, among others, have made this season hard.
I am in a bit of a tailspin these days. I keep searching for way-markers, trying to see the path before me.
I've been looking through old letters and journals, learning lessons from my history, like this one from last April:
Last week was a time of reflection, repentance, prayer, and planning for me. We homeschool through the end of June, and I really want to make the most of the next two months. So, one afternoon I sat down with my notebook and a pencil and wrote down the things that I hope to accomplish with my children:
- I want my children to believe that life is full of wonders (because our God is Wonderful).
- I want them to remember and savor the things we see, read, do, and learn.
- I want my children to know that the night sky is so full of stars, that it is dizzying--even if we can't see them anymore.
- I want them to see the miracle in the ordinary--and hold fast to it.
The next afternoon as I prayed, it became clear to me that the single most important thing I do in my work as mother is keep time. Because it slips away so easily.
- I want them to see Christ in their neighbor.
A long time ago my dad told me that children spell love: T I M E. And, he was right.
I realized that afternoon, as I walked in the woods at Horn Pond, with all of my children together, listening to the birds sing and admiring the golden forsythia, that the only thing I need to plan for in our home learning is how I will keep time. I don't need to worry about what we learn, for every day is full of wonders. But, we will surely miss them all if I allow us to be distracted by "many things". It really is a lie that we can "do it all". My life is full of time saving devices: telephones, computers, televisions, grocery stores, radios, etc. But, am I really getting more done? Or am I just allowing myself--and my children--to be distracted away from living?
In the weeks ahead, I'm going to keep time each day by:
- saying morning prayers together
- having a single lesson (history, geography, mythology, literature, poetry, art, or music)
- playing
- being in nature
- conversations
- writing
- making (baking, knitting, music, painting, sewing, cooking, gardening)
- reading aloud
- working on household chores together
My oldest is eighteen. My time with my children is passing by so quickly. The work God has set before me is to be a good steward of time. I intend to be mindful and savor each moment slowly and fully.
- rest
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time for the days are evil. So then, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.Ephesians 5:15-17
I do hope your daughter is on the mend! Last year my son was a hs senior and I savored all the lasts...last concert, last tennis match etc...I'm glad I did take that pause to breathe it in :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Karen. I did savor all of those moments last year. When I came across this journal entry, it was a good reminder for me to keep protecting the time I have.
DeleteThis is beautiful, but I am distracted by the information that your oldest girl is ill with pnuemonia. Our hearts go out to her!! Please give her a hug from my girl, and our prayers that she will be well again very soon.
ReplyDeleteA letter arrived yesterday. One shall be winging its way over as soon as possible.
Amy is beginning to recuperate now, thank God! She was glad to hear that her letter arrived :-) Thank you so much (and your daughter) for your good healing thoughts.
DeleteYou are right. Even in my (childless) life, with just a couple of us here, I plan every day what I want to do; and so often, for one reason or another, it doesn't come to pass. I'm not goofing off - it is God's will. I need to accept it.
ReplyDeleteI was just reading something by Henri Nouwen about how we tend to judge ourselves by what we've accomplished - I do it! God doesn't.
I'll add your girl to my prayers!
Thank you for praying for Amy. She has finally "turned the corner" so to speak, and is on the mend.
DeleteI love Henri Nouwen's writings; they're good ones for this season.
you are wise to look back to your own writing for direction. i'm always surprised at what i knew once upon a time ;)
ReplyDeleteand, of course, you have my prayers.
Thank you, for your prayers, Kort. Amy is beginning to get better, and I am so grateful.
DeleteI am surprised by what I have come across in my old writings in the past few days. It's hard to believe that I even wrote those words--I can't recall doing it.
Oh, Susan, I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard winter. We have been blessed with an easy one and I find myself losing joy to fear that it might change. I need to keep time, too.
ReplyDeleteWe are finding ourselves in a similar headspace these days as I am trying to make the time to be even more deliberate and keep the joy coming. I pray that we all will find it.
Gosh, Brandy, I know just what you mean about losing joy to fear during the best of times. I like what you've said here about keeping joy coming by living deliberately--not that it's easy, but at least it's *possible*, something to work towards.
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