Trader Joe's had pretty bouquets for $3.98. Although money is tight, I couldn't resist bringing home a little springtime.: ) Other than that, I've been keeping house, teaching my children, guarding my garden (what is getting in there and digging, I wonder?), and reading mysterious, ghost stories at night. : ) In my free time during the afternoons, I've been listening to debates between atheists and theists on whether God exists. (While listening, I am making good progress on my sweater, so it's not a complete waste of time!)

The thing that has impressed me most about the atheists is their contempt for suffering and oppression (this moves me, despite their cynicism). Contempt for suffering is what lies behind many of their arguments against the existence of God (who they believe traditional monotheism portrays as a "dictator in the sky"). They ask: "If God exists, then why would he allow suffering? Such a God would mean that a) he is indifferent to his creation; b) his "intelligent design" is flawed and therefore unintelligent; c) he is evil. Since I can imagine a better world--a world without suffering--then I am greater than God. Therefore God does not exist."

Suffering is hard to understand and even harder to experience; yet, when you think about it, because all living things are dependent upon other things for survival--and because everything dies--suffering is essential to our existence. The interconnectedness of the universe requires all forces, matter, and organisms to maintain a delicate balance. As soon as something acts against its purpose or denies the boundaries of its purpose, it creates a domino effect of disorder (disease, natural disasters, etc.). Following scientific explanation, wouldn't the fittest organisms be those that were not dependent on something else for survival (and were not genetically determined to age and die)? In a stable environment, what would cause organisms to evolve? Likewise, in a harmonious environment, what would be the need for competition? And, what would cause constant forces to become unstable in the first place? Most importantly, what keeps these forces in balance (so that the destructive forces of decay/chaos do not overtake the constructive forces of life/order)?  The fact that this tension exists suggests that nature is invested in its own survival and points to Intelligence.

As I think about it, suffering may offer the best argument for the existence of God. The late Father Bede Jarrett O.P. wrote, "Can we not describe perfection as implying completeness in a particular order, so that the perfect thing does completely what it is wanted to do, exactly fulfilling the purpose for which it was designed? Thus also we can say reverently that God is perfect because he fulfills all that he is: "I am who I am" (Ex. 3:14). God is perfect; in him everything is in order." God is perfect, therefore, what he creates is perfect. But, if God made a creature with free will (as opposed to creatures governed by some other internal impetus, such as instinct), then these creatures would have the ability to act in ways that are disordered, disturbing the perfection of nature and causing suffering.

Atheists would argue that God could have used a different design--one that would exclude the possibility of suffering. The problem with that argument is, as soon as you remove free will from humans, you have either non-humans or slavery (a form of suffering). Free will allows us to come to God by choice--not as slaves, but as friends, thus fulfilling our purpose and transforming suffering to something meaningful: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."