When my first child was about three years old and my second child was almost one, my husband and I began thinking about homeschooling. The year was 1995 and homeschooling was not yet commonplace. We didn't know anyone else who did it. Our parents and siblings thought that we were crazy. They thought that it wouldn't work. They thought that educating our children at home would hurt them in the long run. Even as I worried, Gosh, what if they're right? I knew in my heart that I had to try.
I had to do it for my children.
Each family chooses to homeschool for its own reasons. It is a careful decision, often made without the support of relatives and friends. My husband and I chose homeschooling because we wanted our children to grow up whole. We wanted to give our children the time and space to gain confidence in themselves, to grow and learn at their own pace in a stable, healthy, nurturing environment surrounded by the people who love them, to allow their true personalities to develop and shine forth without hindrance.
I remember my early school years. I was as shy and sensitive as a kitten. I felt confident only when my mother was near. The world was bright and wonderful when she was there to guide me and scary when she was not. She would hang clothes in the backyard. I would swing on my swing or dig in the dirt with a spoon or look at the ants or dandelions. She would sew at her sewing machine in the corner of the kitchen, I would play with my dolls in front of the window or sit at my little table and color. In the afternoon we walked to the store through the park. She named the trees: chestnut, oak, maple; and the birds: robin, sparrow, bluejay. Loud sounds frightened and overwhelmed me: a truck going by, a car horn, loud voices at a party or event.
When I turned five it was time for kindergarten. I was afraid and cried for my mother like many little children do. My teachers Miss Sweeney and Mrs.Tisdale were warm and kind. In those days kindergarten meant play, stories, snack, and sharing. There were "stations" in our kindergarten. One was "house" with dress-up clothes, a wooden kitchen, child-sized brooms and dust pans, another was "workshop" with wood, saws, hammers and nails (I'm not kidding). I learned to like kindergarten, but I never felt completely comfortable at school. There was always something missing: the natural world in my own backyard and neighborhood, and my mother.
First and second grades were disastrous for me. I was an excellent student. I worked hard to do exactly what my teacher expected from me: sit with hands folded and listen; color in the lines; write neatly and carefully. The day was long. The noisy lunchroom filled with classes from multiple grades terrified me. The lunch ladies screamed at the children to be heard above the din of voices. Most days I was so anxious that I could barely eat my lunch.Most of the children were nice, but some were not. In time I developed coping mechanisms to deal with life at school--I changed myself in order to "get along". But, I never felt happy or confident in school. I used to watch the big clock on the wall waiting for the bell to ring, waiting to be released.
By third grade I was: Susan at school and Susie at home. These distinctions became more powerful the older I became. My self at home and my public self were very different. And, I hated it. I hated who I was. I hated the sense of separation from my family and also from my friends. For a long time I felt like no one really knew me. I understood later (when I became an adult) that it was I who did not know myself.
When I became a young mother I wanted a different experience for my children. I looked into alternative schools and noticed something interesting: Montessori, Waldorf, Reggio Emilia, etc. all have one thing in common: they try to mimic a home atmosphere:
The best schools recognize the value of the home environment in nurturing young children (it is interesting to me that some homeschoolers try to mimic a Waldorf or Montessori atmosphere in their home!) . Even so, these schools are still missing the other essential elements that are vital to a child's growth and development: time and space to explore and just be, plenty of contact with nature, and mother.
Where I live kindergarteners now go to school for the full day. As a young mother I considered all of the time that my children would spend away from me--all of the experiences and interactions they would have that I would not be able to help guide them through. I thought about my own school experiences and the things that I never told my mother. I knew that these things would effect my children's development for better or for worse, just as they did mine.
At that time, when my children were little, we lived a block away from an elementary school. One day we were at the playground after school let out. On a whim I asked several of the school children, "Would you rather stay home and have your mother teach you or go to school?" Every single child said he would rather be at home with his mother. That gave me a lot to think about.
Nearly twenty years have passed. Now that several of my children are young men and women, I can say with complete confidence that the hope I put into homeschooling was worth it.
I had to do it for my children.
Each family chooses to homeschool for its own reasons. It is a careful decision, often made without the support of relatives and friends. My husband and I chose homeschooling because we wanted our children to grow up whole. We wanted to give our children the time and space to gain confidence in themselves, to grow and learn at their own pace in a stable, healthy, nurturing environment surrounded by the people who love them, to allow their true personalities to develop and shine forth without hindrance.
I remember my early school years. I was as shy and sensitive as a kitten. I felt confident only when my mother was near. The world was bright and wonderful when she was there to guide me and scary when she was not. She would hang clothes in the backyard. I would swing on my swing or dig in the dirt with a spoon or look at the ants or dandelions. She would sew at her sewing machine in the corner of the kitchen, I would play with my dolls in front of the window or sit at my little table and color. In the afternoon we walked to the store through the park. She named the trees: chestnut, oak, maple; and the birds: robin, sparrow, bluejay. Loud sounds frightened and overwhelmed me: a truck going by, a car horn, loud voices at a party or event.
When I turned five it was time for kindergarten. I was afraid and cried for my mother like many little children do. My teachers Miss Sweeney and Mrs.Tisdale were warm and kind. In those days kindergarten meant play, stories, snack, and sharing. There were "stations" in our kindergarten. One was "house" with dress-up clothes, a wooden kitchen, child-sized brooms and dust pans, another was "workshop" with wood, saws, hammers and nails (I'm not kidding). I learned to like kindergarten, but I never felt completely comfortable at school. There was always something missing: the natural world in my own backyard and neighborhood, and my mother.
First and second grades were disastrous for me. I was an excellent student. I worked hard to do exactly what my teacher expected from me: sit with hands folded and listen; color in the lines; write neatly and carefully. The day was long. The noisy lunchroom filled with classes from multiple grades terrified me. The lunch ladies screamed at the children to be heard above the din of voices. Most days I was so anxious that I could barely eat my lunch.Most of the children were nice, but some were not. In time I developed coping mechanisms to deal with life at school--I changed myself in order to "get along". But, I never felt happy or confident in school. I used to watch the big clock on the wall waiting for the bell to ring, waiting to be released.
By third grade I was: Susan at school and Susie at home. These distinctions became more powerful the older I became. My self at home and my public self were very different. And, I hated it. I hated who I was. I hated the sense of separation from my family and also from my friends. For a long time I felt like no one really knew me. I understood later (when I became an adult) that it was I who did not know myself.
When I became a young mother I wanted a different experience for my children. I looked into alternative schools and noticed something interesting: Montessori, Waldorf, Reggio Emilia, etc. all have one thing in common: they try to mimic a home atmosphere:
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| A Reggio Emilia Kindergarten @ Overfield Early Childhood Program |
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| A Waldorf Kindergarten (photo found at simplehomeschool.net) |
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| A Montessori Kindergarten (photo from montessorichildrenshouse.com) |
Where I live kindergarteners now go to school for the full day. As a young mother I considered all of the time that my children would spend away from me--all of the experiences and interactions they would have that I would not be able to help guide them through. I thought about my own school experiences and the things that I never told my mother. I knew that these things would effect my children's development for better or for worse, just as they did mine.
At that time, when my children were little, we lived a block away from an elementary school. One day we were at the playground after school let out. On a whim I asked several of the school children, "Would you rather stay home and have your mother teach you or go to school?" Every single child said he would rather be at home with his mother. That gave me a lot to think about.
Nearly twenty years have passed. Now that several of my children are young men and women, I can say with complete confidence that the hope I put into homeschooling was worth it.
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